I was asked to write a piece about resilience for another publication. I have been thinking about it a lot. What is resilience exactly? It doesn’t matter what it is; resilience has been enjoying a renaissance as psychologists, teachers, parents, and corporate leaders discuss why resilience is important and why it’s so lacking among Gen Zs and Millennials. The ability to bounce back from rejection and disappointment is one definition of resilience.
The roots of resilience
These two types of people are familiar: One who is rejected for a job or doesn’t care about applying for any employment. The other uses it for hundreds of jobs and knows this is part of the game to land that job. How do these two types of people get together? This is what I want. Many of the books on resilience are self-help and are directed at people who wish to be resilient in the face of tragedy, failure, loss, or other circumstances. However, I need help finding reliable sources about the origins of resilience. For example, why is one sibling successful and resilient while the other is not?
External locus of control vs. internal
One of the significant differences between resilient and brittle people (i.e., those who are more likely to crumble or break down when confronted with adversity) is their inherent locus of control. This concept is discussed elsewhere concerning why Gen Zs struggle with everyday things. An External locus of power, instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they blame the world. This approach to life can be a good one, as it allows you to feel better about the world.
They are the world.
They have self-destructive thought patterns such as “The world is unfair,” “Everything is so hard,” “Everyone wants to take advantage,” and others. If one believes that the world is unfair and harsh, it is easier to avoid unpleasant thoughts that they might not have done as well as their peers, failed to try hard enough, or were just too lazy. It’s me against the world. Poor me.
An individual who has been convicted of a crime, however, is not eligible for benefits.
Internal locus of Control
The world is seen objectively. Some people are cruel, but others are kind; some systems can be corrupt and dysfunctional, but others within those systems can still be good and well-meaning. I am not always safe from the evil eye, but others are trustworthy. If the locus of control is within the person, they can control the world. The world happens to them.
This person has a strong sense and personal responsibility. They make decisions and take action on the planet. They will fail at some things, but they will succeed at others. They have the power to control their own lives, and that belief is both healthy and empowering.
Being resilient and realistic about yourself
Resilience also includes accepting one’s limitations, strengths, abilities, and goals. It is often said that Millennials and Gen Zs are “entitled” while Gen Zs are “lazy.” They want the best, and they want it right now. Anyone can become a clickbait addict of the social media-driven clickbait mentality. Their upbringing was influenced by instant gratification via the internet.
This influences their descriptions of:
– what they want to do after college
– how much they can expect to make, and so on
Now we need to find Frankenstein a job at a juice bar. A healthy sense of proportion is essential for mental health.
Let me give you an example from my life. Recently, I applied for a teaching job at my university. It was the same institution as mine but with better pay and greater job security. My friends said that they were sure I would get the job when I mentioned it to them. You’re a Ph.D. holder and already teach there. Your students love you. It’s an excellent way to look at it. Given my experience in rejections in the academic job marketplace, I knew that around 100 people would apply. In fact, 86 did. Some of them would have teaching profiles more closely aligned with the job ad. (I was approximately a 50% match). And who knows what else. When I didn’t get a job interview, I accepted it and was interviewed for a job aligned with my career path one month later.
I’m a very resilient person. Although I experience disappointment, frustration, and other human emotions just like everyone else, I let them go for a while, and then I decide to change the record. That job was for someone else. What else is exciting and attractive? I also know that a rejection does not mean I am wrong. It’s an indication that someone else is better suited to the job.
Learning to overcome failure
We see a lot of Gen Zs who want to do everything for their children. This is the worst thing that you can do. Micromanaging your child’s life is a way to take control of them and make them feel incapable of doing things for themselves. These kids are freshmen in college, and they cannot manage their time and long for simpler times.
Children and teens who are unsuccessful in sports, grades, and friendships, as well as in romantic relationships, and learn to deal with emotions and figure out the following steps on their own, are the best candidates for becoming resilient and prosperous adults. They don’t blame others for what has gone wrong but rather take responsibility for what can be done better.
We can still learn how to turn the dial internally as adults. How can I be more attractive in the job market and increase my chances of success? Instead of this, the industry is so corrupt that I wouldn’t want to work there anyway. We can also learn to set realistic goals. Soul searching is a good idea for some people. After I quit my tenure-track job in 2014 and was unable to find a new career path, I needed to restructure my professional identity. Working with a job counselor or life coach may prove more beneficial for others. It is vital to cultivate resilience and embrace it fully. The alternative, which can lead to brittleness, failure at disappointments, or crumbling at rejection, is much more challenging.
Published Mon, 12 July 2021 22:49.57 +0000