A Frequent Pitfall in Online Dating: The Move That Rarely Succeeds

Hey there! Navigating the online dating scene can be quite a ride, right? Swiping right, securing matches, and gathering courage to type that first message – it’s all part of the journey. But wait a minute, have you ever paused to ponder over your introductory message? Your initial ‘hello’ can influence the entire conversation, and there’s one typical practice that, honestly, doesn’t nail the best first impression.

Consider the Person on the Other Side of the Screen

Always remember, the individual behind the screen is just like you – human. They’ve got aspirations, dreams, and probably a dash of skepticism about online dating. Like you, they are hoping to connect but are also aware of the potential pitfalls. And one of those pitfalls? Receiving an explicit or overly sexual opening message.

The Downside of Explicit Openers

Let’s face it: explicit opening messages are pretty much like dropping a watermelon on someone’s foot to spark a chat. It’s unexpected, startling, and more likely to induce discomfort than intrigue. A study demonstrated that such messages are perceived more negatively than any other type of greeting. Why is that?

It’s not about being prudish or unable to navigate an adult conversation. It boils down to the fact that such an opener feels like an infringement of personal boundaries.

Neutral Reactions at Best

Here’s a revelation: even those who might be open to a more steamy conversation later are not necessarily impressed by explicit messages in the beginning. Their reactions? Mostly neutral, at best.

Role of Gender Norms and Motives

Gender norms significantly shape the perception of these messages. Men, due to societal norms around male sexuality, tend to view explicit messages less negatively. However, women, often perceived as ‘gatekeepers’ of sex, may find themselves in an uncomfortable position upon receiving these messages.

Another crucial aspect is the motive behind using dating apps. Those seeking serious relationships are likely to view explicit messages more negatively, whereas people interested in casual encounters might be more tolerant. But even then, explicit messages as an opener are hardly ever a hit.

Improving the Online Dating Game

So, what can you do to enhance your online dating prowess? It’s quite simple: keep consent at the heart of your interactions, even in the digital sphere. Be respectful in your messages, considerate about your potential match’s feelings, and prioritize fostering a genuine connection over trying to shock or impress with explicit content.

By adopting this approach, you’ll not only make a positive impression but also show potential matches that you’re interested in getting to know them as individuals, not just as profiles on a screen. And that, my friend, is a sure-shot way to ace the online dating game.


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